I was a hot day at Six Flags and we (my family) were so excited to
have some fun. We had no idea which ride to ride first. Wanted to go on some
rides that get you wet but my brother and my dad wanted to go on the American
Eagle. We were all kind of scared but we went on it anyway. When we were
waiting in line we talked and teased each other about what we were going to be
like during the ride. As we got closer to the front we got more and more
nervous.
When it was our turn to go my brother right away said that he was
sitting by my dad so I had to sit alone. When we started to move up the ramp I
was super scared because I always feel like I’m going to fall out of my seat.
When we got to the top it was really cool but a little scary. Then we when down
the drop it was super fast, my heart was racing so fast I couldn’t breathe. We
were way ahead of the other team(we were the red team).
We finished the ride like 20 sec behind the other team. It was so
much fun. The funniest part of the ride was that every time we would go down a
drop my brother would scream But it was still really fun.
Hi Zach - You picked a good moment for your story. My suggestions: Is there any place where dialogue would fit in here? Perhaps you could put in the conversations where you were teasing each other in line.
ReplyDeleteZach you had a great story and a good event. One of the parts where you were on the top of the ride had very good detail. I think that you could have talked a little more about what was happening on the ride but other than that it was awsome
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